| These Dreams by Kim Townsel |
The beautiful lady lifts her hands and the two small children, a beautiful little girl
and a handsome little boy, float to her. Looking at them is like gazing in a mirror,
a perfect blend of herself now and as she was as a child. They all laugh and
embrace, and it's a warmness and love that is almost enough. Giddy, they hug as
they roll through the silver clouds and into the blue sky. The lady inhales the
daffodil scent of their golden scalps, and thinks how almost perfect it all is.
and a handsome little boy, float to her. Looking at them is like gazing in a mirror,
a perfect blend of herself now and as she was as a child. They all laugh and
embrace, and it's a warmness and love that is almost enough. Giddy, they hug as
they roll through the silver clouds and into the blue sky. The lady inhales the
daffodil scent of their golden scalps, and thinks how almost perfect it all is.
| *** |
Sometimes Kara thought no publisher in the world wanted to touch her stuff. She
sighed and filed the rejection note in the milk crate, full of envelopes holding past
disappointments. At least the letter wouldn't be lonely with so many peers.
Kara wondered if she had any peers of her own. “Stop thinking, start creating,” she
told herself. No sense in fruitless explorations of things unknown. Too much reality
to deal with already.
Kara tried to write but the story wouldn't land, choosing instead to softly flit across
the way, beyond the light. “I give up.” She shut down the computer and dreaded
the dusk. She knew it would be a bad night.
sighed and filed the rejection note in the milk crate, full of envelopes holding past
disappointments. At least the letter wouldn't be lonely with so many peers.
Kara wondered if she had any peers of her own. “Stop thinking, start creating,” she
told herself. No sense in fruitless explorations of things unknown. Too much reality
to deal with already.
Kara tried to write but the story wouldn't land, choosing instead to softly flit across
the way, beyond the light. “I give up.” She shut down the computer and dreaded
the dusk. She knew it would be a bad night.
| *** |
The beautiful lady, dressed in white silk, sensuously moves to embrace the
handsome man.
"What occupied your mind today, Lydia?" he asks, lovingly stroking her cheek.
The lady's jaw tightens ever so slightly. "Nothing," she replies.
"Nothing, madam?" the man asks.
"Nothing."
For her answer, the man rewards the woman with exquisite gifts. Even surrounded
by the delightful presents, she remains the most spectacular object in the golden
room.
handsome man.
"What occupied your mind today, Lydia?" he asks, lovingly stroking her cheek.
The lady's jaw tightens ever so slightly. "Nothing," she replies.
"Nothing, madam?" the man asks.
"Nothing."
For her answer, the man rewards the woman with exquisite gifts. Even surrounded
by the delightful presents, she remains the most spectacular object in the golden
room.
| *** |
At first Kara thought writing in itself would be enough. The freedom to create, to
unleash thoughts… Surely she would be content. The making of something new
that came into being because of her brain and hands exhilarated her. But after the
final drafts, her heart ached to share. Having no family, and fewer friends, she
leaned for the shoulders of strangers.
Her take of the publishing world temperature read chilly. Her work seemed
experimental, not saleable.
She found no comfort in knowing her soul could tell the story of a million years.
The sharing of the story is forbidden.
That night, Kara cried with the wisdom that dreams fulfilled can be worse than
death. Utter joy can breed unspeakable despair. And the cost of dreams can be
tragic. Love, children, all things good, can be sacrificial offerings to an ethereal
vision …
Finally, Kara slept.
unleash thoughts… Surely she would be content. The making of something new
that came into being because of her brain and hands exhilarated her. But after the
final drafts, her heart ached to share. Having no family, and fewer friends, she
leaned for the shoulders of strangers.
Her take of the publishing world temperature read chilly. Her work seemed
experimental, not saleable.
She found no comfort in knowing her soul could tell the story of a million years.
The sharing of the story is forbidden.
That night, Kara cried with the wisdom that dreams fulfilled can be worse than
death. Utter joy can breed unspeakable despair. And the cost of dreams can be
tragic. Love, children, all things good, can be sacrificial offerings to an ethereal
vision …
Finally, Kara slept.
| *** |
The handsome man is not happy. Neither are his peers. "Lydia,” one says, “you
harbor impure thoughts."
The beautiful lady stands mute before the undeniable charges.
"Lydia, you are familiar with the sentence for these exercises of the mind."
The beautiful lady tightens her jaw. "Gentlemen, please." She clenched her silken
gown. "Why is it so? It is allowed elsewhere."
"Not here. Would you have it so?"
"My life for a yes."
"That will not be.” The handsome man is now angry. “As you choose to debate, you
may have part of your desires at least."
The lady smiles in a small way. Done, she thinks, and so easily.
"Please transport her where she may create."
harbor impure thoughts."
The beautiful lady stands mute before the undeniable charges.
"Lydia, you are familiar with the sentence for these exercises of the mind."
The beautiful lady tightens her jaw. "Gentlemen, please." She clenched her silken
gown. "Why is it so? It is allowed elsewhere."
"Not here. Would you have it so?"
"My life for a yes."
"That will not be.” The handsome man is now angry. “As you choose to debate, you
may have part of your desires at least."
The lady smiles in a small way. Done, she thinks, and so easily.
"Please transport her where she may create."
| *** |
Kara read, rubbing her jaw as she edited.
What is crystal to her is opalescence to them. Can they not transcend and see? She
shook her head. If only they could listen … Kara knew even if she captured their
attention, they would watch and only watch… with shark eyes. Always thinking
about feeding. Their own basic needs and wants. In their own way, they were as
stuck as Kara. She walked in this world, but was not of it. They were of this world,
not in it.
Would it be this way forever? That night, Kara welcomed sleep for a change.
What is crystal to her is opalescence to them. Can they not transcend and see? She
shook her head. If only they could listen … Kara knew even if she captured their
attention, they would watch and only watch… with shark eyes. Always thinking
about feeding. Their own basic needs and wants. In their own way, they were as
stuck as Kara. She walked in this world, but was not of it. They were of this world,
not in it.
Would it be this way forever? That night, Kara welcomed sleep for a change.
| *** |
The handsome man tenderly bathes the beautiful lady in fragrant oils and dresses
her in gossamer of butterfly wings. They travel through the air with all singing
things.
They roll with the mighty waves of sea-spray. He carries her into a field of
unharvested flowers where he loves her with more feeling than her body can
withstand. He never takes his eyes from hers.
Raptured, she asks, "Why?"
He held her chin, a bit too tightly.
She cried from the pain. “Why do you hurt me?”
"So you will remember always the cost."
her in gossamer of butterfly wings. They travel through the air with all singing
things.
They roll with the mighty waves of sea-spray. He carries her into a field of
unharvested flowers where he loves her with more feeling than her body can
withstand. He never takes his eyes from hers.
Raptured, she asks, "Why?"
He held her chin, a bit too tightly.
She cried from the pain. “Why do you hurt me?”
"So you will remember always the cost."
| *** |
Kara awoke with a start, afraid more of the waking than the dream. What if he
was right? The dreams of what was real were beginning to pull apart the reality of
dreams. Kara impatiently tossed, both hoping for and dreading the open curtain.
But the stage was empty. No more shows tonight.
She stumbled into the bathroom, pulled the chain light, and searched for the magic
that would help her find the dark sleep. The prescription bottle contained nothing.
No magic tonight.
Somehow she found sleep. The next morning, Kara awoke feeling very tired. Her
jaw hurt. She brewed the necessary evil, toileted, and faced the computer.
“I will write it,” she said aloud, trying on boldness. “Just to see what happens. The
worst that can happen is I'll be named an eccentric fool. But who can say? I might
be christened an imaginative new writer. An overnight success.” Kara smiled in a
small way to consider such an irony.
Who would believe such fantasy?
Kara hunched over the typewriter until the light of the sun passed over to the other
side. She curled into a ball and went to sleep contentedly.
was right? The dreams of what was real were beginning to pull apart the reality of
dreams. Kara impatiently tossed, both hoping for and dreading the open curtain.
But the stage was empty. No more shows tonight.
She stumbled into the bathroom, pulled the chain light, and searched for the magic
that would help her find the dark sleep. The prescription bottle contained nothing.
No magic tonight.
Somehow she found sleep. The next morning, Kara awoke feeling very tired. Her
jaw hurt. She brewed the necessary evil, toileted, and faced the computer.
“I will write it,” she said aloud, trying on boldness. “Just to see what happens. The
worst that can happen is I'll be named an eccentric fool. But who can say? I might
be christened an imaginative new writer. An overnight success.” Kara smiled in a
small way to consider such an irony.
Who would believe such fantasy?
Kara hunched over the typewriter until the light of the sun passed over to the other
side. She curled into a ball and went to sleep contentedly.
| *** |
The beautiful lady holds her hands on the virescent screen.
Two small children, a beautiful little girl and a handsome little boy are in an
otherwise empty room.
It begins.
The lady's jaw drops in horror. She claws at the screen.
An eternity passes before the scene fades away. “You were warned,” the men tell
her.
Two small children, a beautiful little girl and a handsome little boy are in an
otherwise empty room.
It begins.
The lady's jaw drops in horror. She claws at the screen.
An eternity passes before the scene fades away. “You were warned,” the men tell
her.
| *** |
The bed sheets were soaking wet when Kara was finally released. “You were
warned,” she heard.
She went and tore the pages into pieces tiny enough to be flushed.
Kara rocked herself on the sheets, damp with misery, but no comfort came.
warned,” she heard.
She went and tore the pages into pieces tiny enough to be flushed.
Kara rocked herself on the sheets, damp with misery, but no comfort came.
