| Mind on Fire Author C. A. Dawson |
Review by Sue Babcock
This book sucked me into the horrific life of Cally James, the Chief of Police in a
Midwestern city. From the first sentence “It was Sunday, normally the quietest
day” to the end, the author provides tension, conflict and intrigue.
Mind on Fire is about Cally’s journey into pure terror as she seeks the killer of a
couple who were murdered “in a most disturbing brutal exhibition of rage.” Heads
chopped off, hands chopped off, left in their bed, blood streaking the walls. As this
eight-month-pregnant Chief digs into this murder, she is forced to remember her
own parents’ murders and what her pregnancy means, and she discovers an
inconceivable connection with the murderer.
The murderer, a psychopathic serial killer, is vividly shown through the eyes of one
of the his captives, Sara, as he terrorizes women victims and the horror grows and
fills the pages. Let’s listen in as he enters the room that imprisons Sara:
“The bedroom door suddenly opened. He walked over and put a plastic bottle in
each of her hands. One was water and the other was some kind of cold watered
down soup. He said nothing and walked out.”
Then, later:
“He dragged her to the middle of the Barn and lowered a hook suspended from the
rafters. he placed the rope tied to her wrists up on the hook and raised her up. …
Suddenly she heard a torch light up again and it was coming closer. … Sparks
caught some hay on fire, it was spreading fast right up her jeans.
She tried not to scream but at some point she couldn’t help herself.”
And a little later:
“Sara couldn’t remember how long she’d been there and kept forgetting to mark
the wall but her feet were healing and didn’t hurt like they did before. The body in
the stall was beginning to decay and it was really starting to smell. She tried to
move it over and put more hay on it hoping it would help absorb the smell, but it
was getting too strong.”
And:
“Sara watched from the darkness wondering what they were going to do to this
poor pregnant lady and even worse she thought, her baby. There wasn’t any sound
coming from the house. … It was like the house swallowed him up.”
In keeping with a 3-up/3-down review format, I claim the plot, followed by its
strong dramatic arc with its tension, conflict, climax and resolution, for my first two
picks for the 3-up. These are closely followed by the characterizations, especially of
Cally, the murderer and Sara.
1-up) Plot: The twists and turns that create the cause-and-effect plot provide a
fascinating study into the deranged mind, and into the terror that Cally feels. She
knows too much, knows what could happen if she doesn’t stop the murders. To
heighten the tension, we are also introduced to Sara, who is captured and tortured
by the murderer. Her story of survival and of what she and Cally have in common
is heartwarming and poignant. I don’t want to give away too much, but the ending
did not let me down, and left the door wide open for Ms Dawson’s second book in
this series. The plot follows Cally’s discoveries about Sara and the murderer, as
well as her personal life filled with her pregnancy, her relationship to her husband
and the relationship with Jessie.
2-up) Dramatic Arc: Closely associated with the plot is a dramatic arc that climbs
steadily, keeping this reader engaged, gripping the pages, as the murders become
more and more personal to the Chief. We get into both Cally’s head, and that of
the murderer. We feel both of their anguish and horror. The scenes are filled with
vivid descriptions of atrocities played out by the murderer on his unsuspecting
victims.
3-up) Characterization: Cally’s characterization is done with depth and feeling. The
reader is drawn into her pregnancy and what will happen to this baby born of a
mother and father who are deeply in love, yet often separated. We are drawn into
her past, her husband’s past and the relationship between the two. We are also
pulled into the relationship between Cally and her (male) good friend and
subordinate police officer Jessie. In addition, the warped and horrible mind of the
murderer is disturbing and I felt the terror of his victims and the depths of his
psychopathic life. He allows one victim of torture to survive. This is Sara, and her
anguish is dramatic and genuine.
My 3-downs, which are things I thought could be done better, are the point-of-
view, the telling, and the need for additional line editing, especially punctuation
and word use.
1-down) Point-of-view: Point-of-view in a story can be tricky. Is it omniscient, is it
close third person, is it first person? Selection affects the entire story with respect
to tone and style. In this story, with the opening paragraph showing a very broad
viewpoint - remember the “Sunday, normally the quietest day of the week” – and
describing how the “neighbors didn’t want to get too close” made me feel that the
author was heading for omniscient. But this god-like viewpoint becomes too
personal and jumps around too much. The opening few paragraphs are just about
the only time we are not inside someone’s head. We quickly move into Cally’s
head, and then into her subordinate’s (Jessie’s) head. The story switches back and
forth between these two until I found it confusing. As the story progressed, we
leap, rather indiscriminately I thought, from character to character – Cally, Jessie,
Sara, the murderer, Cally’s husband. I even found a first person point-of-view, in
which the author seemed to be interrupting her story with her own opinion. The
changes in points-of-view would have felt more controlled and easier to follow if
chapter breaks were used to distinguish whose head the reader was in at any given
moment.
2-down) Exposition: The second of my three-downs is the telling in places that
showing would have been very effective. The reader was told that a dinner at the
hospital didn’t look appetizing, that burns were superficial but painful, that the
murderer would go days without sleeping but the wind chimes help him sleep. We’
re told what is romantic (Italian dinners) and what is terrible. This relentless telling
flattens the characters and drags the story down.
3-down) Edits: And finally, line edits, especially punctuation and word usage. This
seems almost too small to mention, except that the errors are pervasive. I wanted
to scrub this story from front to back and make the drama and characters shine
through.
Conclusions: Mind on Fire is tense and gory. The characters ooze personality and
the plot drips with conflict. It is also a book in search of a detail-oriented editor. It
earned its place on my bookshelf and I am eager to read the next book in this
series.
MIND ON FIRE, A psychological thriller may be ordered at bookstores and Amazon.
com
isbn # 9781438901138
Interview
You may also reach the author at C.A. Dawson.
This book sucked me into the horrific life of Cally James, the Chief of Police in a
Midwestern city. From the first sentence “It was Sunday, normally the quietest
day” to the end, the author provides tension, conflict and intrigue.
Mind on Fire is about Cally’s journey into pure terror as she seeks the killer of a
couple who were murdered “in a most disturbing brutal exhibition of rage.” Heads
chopped off, hands chopped off, left in their bed, blood streaking the walls. As this
eight-month-pregnant Chief digs into this murder, she is forced to remember her
own parents’ murders and what her pregnancy means, and she discovers an
inconceivable connection with the murderer.
The murderer, a psychopathic serial killer, is vividly shown through the eyes of one
of the his captives, Sara, as he terrorizes women victims and the horror grows and
fills the pages. Let’s listen in as he enters the room that imprisons Sara:
“The bedroom door suddenly opened. He walked over and put a plastic bottle in
each of her hands. One was water and the other was some kind of cold watered
down soup. He said nothing and walked out.”
Then, later:
“He dragged her to the middle of the Barn and lowered a hook suspended from the
rafters. he placed the rope tied to her wrists up on the hook and raised her up. …
Suddenly she heard a torch light up again and it was coming closer. … Sparks
caught some hay on fire, it was spreading fast right up her jeans.
She tried not to scream but at some point she couldn’t help herself.”
And a little later:
“Sara couldn’t remember how long she’d been there and kept forgetting to mark
the wall but her feet were healing and didn’t hurt like they did before. The body in
the stall was beginning to decay and it was really starting to smell. She tried to
move it over and put more hay on it hoping it would help absorb the smell, but it
was getting too strong.”
And:
“Sara watched from the darkness wondering what they were going to do to this
poor pregnant lady and even worse she thought, her baby. There wasn’t any sound
coming from the house. … It was like the house swallowed him up.”
In keeping with a 3-up/3-down review format, I claim the plot, followed by its
strong dramatic arc with its tension, conflict, climax and resolution, for my first two
picks for the 3-up. These are closely followed by the characterizations, especially of
Cally, the murderer and Sara.
1-up) Plot: The twists and turns that create the cause-and-effect plot provide a
fascinating study into the deranged mind, and into the terror that Cally feels. She
knows too much, knows what could happen if she doesn’t stop the murders. To
heighten the tension, we are also introduced to Sara, who is captured and tortured
by the murderer. Her story of survival and of what she and Cally have in common
is heartwarming and poignant. I don’t want to give away too much, but the ending
did not let me down, and left the door wide open for Ms Dawson’s second book in
this series. The plot follows Cally’s discoveries about Sara and the murderer, as
well as her personal life filled with her pregnancy, her relationship to her husband
and the relationship with Jessie.
2-up) Dramatic Arc: Closely associated with the plot is a dramatic arc that climbs
steadily, keeping this reader engaged, gripping the pages, as the murders become
more and more personal to the Chief. We get into both Cally’s head, and that of
the murderer. We feel both of their anguish and horror. The scenes are filled with
vivid descriptions of atrocities played out by the murderer on his unsuspecting
victims.
3-up) Characterization: Cally’s characterization is done with depth and feeling. The
reader is drawn into her pregnancy and what will happen to this baby born of a
mother and father who are deeply in love, yet often separated. We are drawn into
her past, her husband’s past and the relationship between the two. We are also
pulled into the relationship between Cally and her (male) good friend and
subordinate police officer Jessie. In addition, the warped and horrible mind of the
murderer is disturbing and I felt the terror of his victims and the depths of his
psychopathic life. He allows one victim of torture to survive. This is Sara, and her
anguish is dramatic and genuine.
My 3-downs, which are things I thought could be done better, are the point-of-
view, the telling, and the need for additional line editing, especially punctuation
and word use.
1-down) Point-of-view: Point-of-view in a story can be tricky. Is it omniscient, is it
close third person, is it first person? Selection affects the entire story with respect
to tone and style. In this story, with the opening paragraph showing a very broad
viewpoint - remember the “Sunday, normally the quietest day of the week” – and
describing how the “neighbors didn’t want to get too close” made me feel that the
author was heading for omniscient. But this god-like viewpoint becomes too
personal and jumps around too much. The opening few paragraphs are just about
the only time we are not inside someone’s head. We quickly move into Cally’s
head, and then into her subordinate’s (Jessie’s) head. The story switches back and
forth between these two until I found it confusing. As the story progressed, we
leap, rather indiscriminately I thought, from character to character – Cally, Jessie,
Sara, the murderer, Cally’s husband. I even found a first person point-of-view, in
which the author seemed to be interrupting her story with her own opinion. The
changes in points-of-view would have felt more controlled and easier to follow if
chapter breaks were used to distinguish whose head the reader was in at any given
moment.
2-down) Exposition: The second of my three-downs is the telling in places that
showing would have been very effective. The reader was told that a dinner at the
hospital didn’t look appetizing, that burns were superficial but painful, that the
murderer would go days without sleeping but the wind chimes help him sleep. We’
re told what is romantic (Italian dinners) and what is terrible. This relentless telling
flattens the characters and drags the story down.
3-down) Edits: And finally, line edits, especially punctuation and word usage. This
seems almost too small to mention, except that the errors are pervasive. I wanted
to scrub this story from front to back and make the drama and characters shine
through.
Conclusions: Mind on Fire is tense and gory. The characters ooze personality and
the plot drips with conflict. It is also a book in search of a detail-oriented editor. It
earned its place on my bookshelf and I am eager to read the next book in this
series.
MIND ON FIRE, A psychological thriller may be ordered at bookstores and Amazon.
com
isbn # 9781438901138
Interview
You may also reach the author at C.A. Dawson.